Rocketdog Blog

I can’t believe THAT’S my President. So smart. I feel so hopeful…

To start, I worked a very rare(for me) day shift. I didn’t sleep well and got up at 6:30 am. Work was OK, kind of slow.

Wanted to use the new snow blower after work. I was sooooo tired, so I sat down for a little while and ate dinner. Finally go out to use said snow blower and spill gas all over it. We have a gas can that you have to push in on the spout to get it to pour. While I am doing that, gas is also leaking out around the base of the spout. I have gas all over my gloves-I HATE having gas on me-ugh, the smell. Call Joe at work, cry and whine, get him agitated too.

Finally get gas + oil in snow blower. Drag snow blower down driveway(HEAVY.) Pray that I don’t ignite due to gasoline spill. Turn choke. Turn key-wait, where’s the key? Look all around snow blower. Look in house in plastic bag that manuals, etc came in. No key. Call Joe, cry + whine part II.  Call Lowe’s, he tells me where key should be. Nope, not there, or there. He says I can come pick one up. I say tomorrow, ’cause I am too damn tired and wound up to anywhere now. He says OK.

Drag stupid, heavy, gasoline-covered snow blower back into garage. Cry. Stomp into house. Go into bedroom. Find the BAG THAT THE BOOKLETS CAME IN and RECEIPT on dog bed with two very guilty looking dogs. Proceed to lose my shit and yell while dogs wish they could disappear. Pick up bag, receipt, and pieces of receipt(thank god not many) and tape receipt back together. Tear off clothes in gasoline covered frenzy-toss in washer. Take shower. Why does the hot water run out so soon? Oh yeah, doofus, LAUNDRY.

And, I’m done. Thank god we have Lost to watch.

I’m not sure why I haven’t updated in so long- I guess I tend to retreat into myself when things get stressful.

I was recently diagnosed with homozygous C677T MTHFR, which is a thrombophilia caused by a genetic mutation. It puts me at a higher risk for clots, strokes, heart attacks, and miscarriages. All I have to do is take extra folic acid, B vitamins, and a baby aspirin a day.

When I first got the diagnosis I was psyched. I felt like finally, here was something I could treat and fix. I had 4 very early miscarriages in 2008, and I couldn’t believe it was just from high FSH.  Now I’m at the point where doubt starts to creep in again and I feel pessimistic. I have to have faith that my body will do what it’s supposed to. Must stay positive!  

Nothings turns a long run into a speed workout quicker than a GIANT LIGHTNING BOLT! I think I did the last mile and a half at a 8:30 min pace! :shock:

The long and winding Willow, originally uploaded by rocketdog2000.

I was feeling antsy after we ran errands today, so I decided to get out and take some photos of the beautiful foliage. I wasn’t up to handling both dogs, so I took Willow to Shaw Park. She loves to be out in the woods and is such a good dog. It was nice to watch her scamper around with a big smile on her face. It took my mind off of our recent events, and for a short time I didn’t think about it. Healing is a slow process sometimes.

Well, it wasn’t meant to be. I started spotting last night and had an ultrasound today which showed that we had a blighted ovum. The gestational sac measured 4 weeks when it should have been 7. I’m glad that I even got pregnant and yes, we will try again. Even if I had known it would turn out this way I wouldn’t change a thing. I loved knowing I was pregnant and couldn’t have waited to tell anyone even if I wanted to. It was the best 3 weeks of my life.

So as of today I’m 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. What does that mean?
I’m hungry all the time. No morning sickness yet.
I’m moody and weepy.
Did I mention hungry?
My boobs are now capable of blotting out the sun. I had to buy a bigger sports bra today.

I feel great and am excited and sometimes overwhelmed. How will I ever get everything done?

I think I will be using my blog again. Here’s a quick recap of where I have been over the last year and a half:

May 2006-We start consciously trying to have a baby. I am charting my temperature.

Dec. 2006-I let my regular Dr. know we haven’t had any luck yet so she draws some blood work to rule out thyroid, etc. Blood is drawn Dec. 11th. Results come back with a FSH of 33(normal is 10 or under) which is the same as a menopausal woman’s. This means my ovaries have few or impaired quality eggs left. I am devastated. My Dr. refers me to an OB/GYN.

Jan. 31st, 2007-I have my appointment at Generations and find out my next step is an HSG(where dye is flushed into the uterus and Fallopian tubes and monitored for any blockages.)

Feb. 7th, 2007-My HSG is normal. Everything looks beautiful!

Feb. 27th, 2007-My OB/GYN goes over my options:In Vitro Fertilization($20,000 and up), Intrauterine Insemination with Femara($300), or doing nothing except what we’ve been doing. I opt for IUI with Femara, then have 3 weird cycles and don’t take the meds until May.

May 27th, 2007-Our first IUI is unsuccessful. We are sad.

Aug. 10th, 2007-Our second IUI doesn’t work either. We are even sadder. I feel like it will never happen. We decide that after the third IUI we will take a break, as I am driving myself crazy every month obsessing over whether I’m pregnant or not.

Aug. 17th, 2007-My blood is drawn to make sure I ovulated. I did but it still didn’t work.

Aug. 24th, 2007-I start what is supposed to be my 3rd IUI cycle. My Ovulation Predictor Kit looks almost positive on Sept. 6th. I expect it to be positive the next day. It isn’t. I worry a lot about having missed it. I resign myself to trying again next month.

Sept. 18th, 2007-I have blood drawn again to make sure I ovulated. I did, and my progesterone is 23.7. I get a refill prescription for Femara. My doctor and I discuss the next step and I tell her we would like a consultation with the IVF clinic to get more information. All the pregnant people in the waiting room of my Doctor’s office make me sad.

Sept. 20th, 2007-I feel like my period is coming. I decide to take a pregnancy test, which I know will be negative, just to get it over with. Holy shit-it’s positive!

Zing!, originally uploaded by rocketdog2000.

For this week’s Photo Friday challenge–Fast.

Yeah, it’s been awhile.

Let’s start with my second race this year, the Christopher Cash 5K. Last year it was my first race, it was 90 degrees and it kicked my ass. This year it was in the 70’s and I felt great. I made it most of the way through running with my friend Sue(Lori had gotten ahead of us.) We got to the last big hill and she talked me into walking it. It didn’t take much to persuade me but in retrospect I wish I’d just pushed myself through it. I did sprint at the end and passed some guy, so I felt good about it. Finish time=33:31

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